"Does She Know You Skate?": A Guide to Skating and Dating

Ok so I got home last night and was talking with my roommate, and he was asking about how a date was that I went on over the weekend. Told him it went well, probably gonna see her again, etc. He asked if we were texting, I told him we were, then it came out. 

"Does she know you skate?"

Everything stopped. 

This really got me thinking. Was skateboarding something I always had to hide from chicks? I brought the question back to SMLTalk Intel, and what was decided is that the weight skateboarding has on your dating life varies by age. There are no tried and true rules here - but we can give you some guidelines around how to proceed with girls, and when it's appropriate to whip out your deck. 


Phase 1: Middle School

We'll keep this brief. Middle school is usually when we start skateboarding. We're looking for some sort of group to fit into, because at this point in our lives we have absolutely no fucking clue what's going on, and are looking for some sort of direction. Usually everybody hates you, but no one hates you more than yourself. Skateboarding helps you forget how much you suck at this age which is great for your confidence level / directly translates into success with chicks. You'll probably get a little kissy, and maybe some weird stuff. Good luck out there. 


Phase 2: High School

High school is tough. If anybody tells you otherwise, well, then fuck them. In high school cliques are formed, identities are established, and all the girls who used to be interested in you in middle school are now looking to date a football player or some guy who would more likely than not kick your ass.  This will usually resort to us abandoning all hope and spending all of our time driving around, skating with the boys, and just being generally reckless. 

But don't worry friends - we at SMLTalk are here for you, and offer a solution to all of your problems. Pick up a sport. We recommend joining the golf team (least amount of exercise). Shows the girls that you're normal, fit in with the popular crowd, ipso facto - get laid. 

 


Phase 3: College

^ no this is real, click it, I swear I'm not making this shit up. 

Okay - wow. Well college is where everything takes a fucking turn. All of a sudden chicks are miraculously turned on by skateboarders, and for most of it, we're not ready for it. Out of nowhere the kids that talked shit to you in high school are buying longboards and pretending that you're "boys". 

We're not boys.

But these guys are smart - they've realized that chicks are losing interest in them and are instead looking to hook up with us. Perhaps it's because we're so fucking badass, or maybe that we don't shower, or maybe, JUST MAYBE, the fact that we will gladly bail on them at any moment to go skate. Whatever it is, they're drawn to it, and it's amazing. Honestly skate shops should give away condoms with each board sale to a college student. 


Phase 4: Adult life

Ahhh you're finally out of college and done with all that school bullshit. Smooth sailing from here, right?

WRONG. 

This is the most challenging chapter in the life of a skateboarder. Don't get me wrong, your boys will always be there for you, but there are general struggles that you will face once you pass age 25, and enter into your "late 20's". 

I'd say that up until 25, you're probably ok. Maybe. Actually I don't even know about that. What I do know is that you start realizing that the girls you are dating, (unless you're still dating college chicks, which I completely back) are going to start looking for some stability. If you skateboard, it's an immediate red flag. You might as well still be playing video games all day, ya fecken loosahh. 

So how do we approach this? How do we find sweet chicks that are okay with us spending the weekend trying to relive our youth, but really just slamming for a couple hours and then going to the bar? Are there even girls out there that are fine with us ignoring their conversation to watch the new Ishod footage, or disregard them to strike up a conversation about Grant's backside airs? 

Are we forced to pull the old 'bait and switch', deceptively leading girls into a relationship where they think we only skate "from time to time", or that "we used to really skate, but now just for fun". 

Well - I wish I could tell you, but the truth is I don't know for myself. Maybe honesty is the best policy. 

Or maybe it's best to just keep it to yourself, treating Quartersnacks and Dime like Pornhub (so tempted to hyperlink), deleting cookies after every visit. 

I guess at the end of the day it's up to you, and your judgement. Just be cautious, and if she asks what smltalk is just tell her it's some shit you're reading for work ;) 

Cheers