VHS Review Volume II: 7 Year Glitch (2002)

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Continuing our tradition of honoring the "VHS Era" of skateboarding I have decided to do our second VHS Review on the 2002 classic 7 Year Glitch. This was the seventh New Deal video released since it's conception and it's probably safe to say that they cranked a video out once a year. For readers of a certain age this is probably baffling. A full length video every single year. What a blessing it would be to see two minutes of maneuvers from one Michael Carroll, or a James Greco, every single fucking year. Instead we are deprived of their talents for half a decade, only to find they had little to no footage...or are so far behind on #trends that it is clear the footage is outdated and thus disappointing. It would seem I've gotten completely off topic here. Lets get this review going.

Intro - Ricki Bedenbaugh made this video. Does anyone know how to pronounce his name? In my head I'm saying it like "Bed-in-bah". There's something inherently silent about the "g" in his last name. Whatever. The video begins with glitching madness. It sounds like two robots docking. Lots of screeching and interrupting. Small film cuts of skaters doing what skateboarders always do in video intros: put their hands up like they're in a rap video or look away from the camera like they just had some super profound thought (which of course isn't true) always set in an urbanized environment to increase street credibility. Of course Fabrizio smiles straight into the camera but the surprising smile is Ricky Oyola, you would have thought he'd be more of a "fuck the camera" kind of dude but maybe the early 2000's were a gentler time for him. Chad Bartie is HARD though, oh my lord. This dude is ice cold. Kind of explains why his name is Chad. And then of course the beat drops, the computer glitches cease, and we have your basic "make and then slam" intro formula in action. And its working. The more variety on the team the better the intro to the video's gonna be. And who said you couldn't analyze the intro? Got damn. Lets go to parts.

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Chad Tim Tim - I always said "Never trust a man with two first names." This dude has three first names...my point? Not really sure just thought I'd say that. Tim Tim skating to De La Soul. I'm loving it. Gotta say the line at Third and Army where he buries that front blunt on the barrier and then hits the camera with his foot pushing? So 2002. Do today's standards allow for a camera tap anymore? This strikes me as something only the VHS Era can really understand. Lets keep going. OOOOO nollie frontside flip that trash can at Cherry Park? Switch back 180 TWO trash cans at the same spot?? My dude Tim Tim is on fire. Ample switch stance skateboarding. Tim Tim's hucking, he's jumping down handrails, and he closes it out with three slo-mow enders. Switch back heel that double set? You're goddamn right he did. I'm giving this part two thumbs up.

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Rob Gonzalez - Next up we have Rob G. He's got kind of a Cuban dance hall funky horn song going. I'm digging it. Rob G is BLASTING off righrOt now. Straight up I'm like 10 seconds in he's already nollied in every clip. Oh my god that backside smith grind was fucked. Dude big shout out to Rob G right now. Hubbas everywhere in this part. Rob G might be the most Hubba dude. Rob G is just ripping right now, really knows how to put together a good line. The back smith down the handrail we saw in the intro makes an appearance with a tight second angle. SKATEPARK TRICK SLO-MOWS. Yes. This is also something kids of a certain age would make a frowny face about. And if you're wondering how Rob G just got skinnier, it's because Danny Montoya is fucking ripping. Not gonna lie the best tricks done in this part are Montoya's. Switch flip back blunt down a picnic table? That been done since? Here we go. Rob's back and firing on all cylinders. The flute's kicking in...it's getting hectic now. Varial flip to legend. Wow. Could you find a more proper varial flip? Ya'll got me fucked up if you're gonna hate on a varial flip ender. Rob G you get a half thumbs up for that part. (Danny Montoya you get two, sorry Rob)

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Lincoln Ueda - Lincoln fuckin' Ueda. The only thing I really remember about this dude is that he was like the Hurley poster child for a super long time. But this is what I like about this era of skating...there was always a vert dude and they all skated Bob's ramp. The sessions at that dude's house must have been fucking insane. Literally changing the game while no one gave a shit, like at all. Lincoln is blasting. That's I think this dude's thing: strictly blasting. Did I mention this dude is fucking BLASTING? Holy shit Lincoln Ueda. This dude got a sick song. Damn this dude was good. Anyone wanna explain to me how this dude never got his proper shine? Oh vert was completely dead? Ok that makes sense. Dude poor Lincoln Ueda. He's literally making Bob's ramp look like a bitch. And it's BOB'S ramp. He just did a backside heelflip tucknee. That doesn't even make sense. His ender? I'm sorry you're just gonna have to watch it I'm really not sure what to say about it...its too fucked up for words. Lincoln Ueda you're getting two vert thumbs up for this part you fuckin deserve it.

Montage - Now we have what I believe is a flow/am montage. They don't put anyone's names in the montage so I can't tell you exactly who I'm watching here but they're certainly ripping. Couple East Coasters I like it. Some good Philly Phootage coming through. Now given how much research it would take to me to go through everyone in this montage I'll just go off on a non-sequitur here. You ever watch porn and its like that ill threesome you were looking for for like MONTHS and its getting all hot and heavy and sick and just as you're about to cum you see the ad for the dick enhancement? Like the monster photoshopped dick? That shit sucks! Ok back to 7 Year Glitch. Yeah people did tricks and they landed 'em. Blah, blah, blah.

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Ryan Johnson - Fuckin' Ryan Johnson man. This dude got lost in all the 411's. And who would have thought this dude was jah rasta as fuck. Straight up that back 180 switch 50-50 is bonkers. This dude kind of rules. Barefoot pool roll-ins? That's some fuckin' irie shit right there. You gotta be fuckin' high to try that. Daaamn frontside air over the love seat! I like this song too some sick reggae shit. Dude this dude's part is sick. Drop in grind was rad. This dude's like a not as sick Cardiel. Skates slower, doesn't have as good as style, but skates like Cardiel...sort of.I mean no one really skates like Cardiel. Like that bank to rail: we all know Cardiel would have skated the top bar, but Ryan Johnson skates the bottom bar...and that's ok. Damn ender was sick. SLC rail. And he switches his stance to beam the little kids cheering for him. OH WAIT?! Bonus ender. Kickflip the sketchiest gap. You trying to tell me that didn't count? Go fuckin' try that shit. Word up Ryan Johnson. If you were Cardiel you would have got two thumbs up for this part.

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Fabrizio Santos - Tha Breeze. My man. Ya'll thought he was gonna skate to Biggie? Nah player. My man's skating to some crazy flute shit. Thats right. Flute shit. Lets just take a minute to appreciate Fabrizio's unreal style. Dude was SMOOTH. But my man went big. My man went like Jamie Thomas big. Goddamn that backside lipslide?? Woooooooo shit was sick! Oh my god back 180 overcrooks back to regular! Way ahead of his time man. People like just started catching on to that shit. My man went big, but my man gets tech too, nah mean? How come this dude never gets brought into the conversation when it comes to frontside flips? My man is SOLID with the frontside flip. Andrew who? Reynolds huh? FABRIZIO SANTOS IS ALL I CAN FUCKS WITH RIGHT NOW. Kickflip front lip? Are you fuckin' kidding me Breeze? Its 2002, dude. Not sure we were ready for that just yet. And in classic skate video form, The Breeze shouts dude mid way down a gap to front lip. That's so fucking sick. Fuck it dude I'm gonna say it this is the best part in the video so far. Ender was nuts but nothing compares to that gap to lip. He literally said dude halfway through the trick. That's amazing. MY MAN GETS TWO ALL CAPS THUMBS UP FOR HIS PART.

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Ricky Oyola - The working man himself. Big Ricky. Not sure that Big Ricky was ever a nickname for the dude but something tells me he'd be ok with Big Ricky. Ricky's opening line IS street skateboarding. Wallies fuckin' all over the place here. Yellow shirts. It's 2002 people. Ricky knows what the fuck is up. Lot of Ricky in Europe. And me personally, I like seeing Big Ricky in his natural habitat. That's Philly for ya'll dipshits that didn't know. I can work with this though. Blunt transfer was as smooth as MY MAN above this write up. Boy, what a fuckin' push. Big Ricky CRUISING. Back three that rail into bank. Followed by a textbook 360 kickflip or trey balm, as you hellaclip geeks call it. Ollie over the fountain was sick!! Dude you know you've got it when you get hyped off ollies. Remember you little shitheads, you ain't gotta flip your board to be good at skateboarding. Big Ricky just doesn't age. Pole jam into bank session is nuts. NO YOU DID NOT JUST KICKFLIP SEX CHANGE RICKY. It's like everything I understood about the world just kind of came crashing down on top of me. Does this mean it's ok to do that trick? Have I chastised and tormented people for years when I should have been encouraging the sex change? What the fuck Ricky. I don't even wanna talk about the fact that he backtailed up a six stair to fakie. No, I won't fuckin' talk about it. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THE SEX CHANGE DUDE. Can't even tell you about the insane pivot he does on that metal bank. Or how ridiculous that downhill double street gap ollie in Mission Hill is. Flash forward 12 years those fucking gaps are still mind bending. Hippy hop wallride. Big Ricky does it. I give this part two formerly woman thumbs that now have penises.

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Chad Bartie - Bartie's up. Always been a fan of this dude. Especially before he started doing the mullet. But he's Australian, we expect a mullet from you. Not saying it's a bad thing...just sayin'. NO RACISM, NO WAR. That's what I'm fuckin' talking about. Lets skate the issues of the world away. Chill skatepark line turns into a heavy ride down a MASSIVE handrail. Damn, dude. Bartie's so sick. Fuckin' classic style. True ATV. Jumpin' on those rails, battling the hubbas, RIPPING the pools. And I mean RIPPING. This dude takes your average spot and he goes all ass backwards on it. That ledge into bank ya'll been dancin' on top of? My man just put a sign and the bottom and is BLASTING off of it like a kicker. Fuck ya'll. Feeble back 180...heelflip back board. You hear that fuckos? It's 2002. Ya'll just been fast asleep on Bartie huh? Gap to frontside nosegrind solid as a fuckin' rock. Oh and what's this? Backside 50 ender is so reckless. Fuck yeah Bartie. You get two Australian thumbs down, which in the Northern Hemisphere is two thumbs way up! Rad bro!

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Kenny Reed - The world traveler himself. Ya'll can't fuck with my man's travels. The ultimate spot seeker. With that crazy yoga voodoo style. Kenny Reed. Haha! Opening line is fuuuuucked up. Is there a hubba that can stop this dude? I think not. Dude's ollies were INSANE. Levi Brown? What's that? I think I hear that dude crying somewhere. He's crying over the fact that he could never fill the hole that Kenny left. I want every pair of Ipath's he's wearing. Hahaha oh my god KENNY. That noseslide is fucking legendary. The MACBA lines in this part are literally fucked. Aw man that switch ollie where he got all fuckin' crazy feet on it. Damn. Classic Kenny. My man is flipping his board every which way. Nollie flip, fakie tre, swiss frontside bigspin. Ya'll can't keep up. Good lord, that frontside boardslide. Kenny just went and risked it all didn't he? And of course that 360 flip. Could you ask for a more classic Kenny Reed ender than a textbook 360 flip into a crazy bank in some random third world country? I think not. I'm giving Kenny's part two thumbs in undisclosed locations somewhere on Earth.

 

Well that looks to be a wrap on 7 Year Glitch. We laughed, we cried, and we realized that Danny Montoya is better than Rob G. And you know what? We learned that this is OK. Look for anyone that hasn't seen this video, you're fucking up. It's up there with the Yeah Rights! and the One Step Beyonds. I don't know why this video doesn't get brought up too much but it should. The early 2000s are like embarrassing baby photos your mom shows that chick you've been trying to bang when you bring her home from the movies. You're acting like you're bummed...but you knew you were killing it back then. BRING BACK NEW DEAL.

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-Rojo