For our 5th installment, we would like to take a moment to worship the holy grail of skate videos, Tiltmode Army's Man Down. Phil McCormick came down to SMLtalk HQ in order to sit and review Man Down.
On my 12th birthday I received a blue VHS and quickly proceeded to throw it in the VCR (we're talking 2001 here people, fucking VCR's ruled the land). My younger brother (also his birthday 3 years apart, pretty weird, parents were kinda particular about the days they banged I guess) and I sat watching in complete awe. We were laughing at all the absurdities the Army had conjured up for us and we were in shock of the creative things we saw these guys doing. It was a good day for me, one that I believe came to define why I enjoy our little hobby. This video represents the way toy time should be spent. It embodies all the values that I, and the lovely gentlemen here at SMLcockdotcom, hold near and dear. Pure, uninhibited fun.
“Man down dude....Man dawwwwn”
To set the scene lets flash forward 12 years. It has probably been 5 years since I’ve sat and watched Man Down start to finish, and here we find ourselves in Dave’s room. We surround a 10” TV whose only function is to play VHS’s.
Opening scene of the video is an epic shot of like 30 dudes surrounding a 12ish stair handrail, one dude is wrapped around the middle of the handrail, and the good homie Caswell flies out of nowhere and hits it with a lip slide, and yes thats a mawfuckin gun in his right hand and some mawfuckin ca$h in his left. Then cue Tom Waits, “step right up” and we get the famous clip of some dude in whitey tighties front shuv to all out WWF close line. Montage plays on with hijinks and the Army doing what they do best, having a good time. Somebody bring back party footage. I miss dat shit.
Dude’s name says it all, Paul is fucking Sharp. On point with dat pop, those iPath Grasshoppers, and those 5-cent mustache rides. Lordie lord. First trick? Ollies like 50 tech decks stacked on top of each other. Rad. Ladytron was a strange choice for his skating but it fuckin works. And yes that’s skatepark footage, they use a ton of it in this video, sometimes they're wearing helmets too, cause fuck you that’s why. Big nollie frontside 180s fo yo ass. Last trick is him in a van drinking a beer holding up a sign that reads “show us your tits” saying “that guys got some tits.” Can’t say I have seen much other footage from this dude but if this is the only part I see by Mr. Sharpe, he went out on top. Bravo.
Asian fucking Elvis skating to the king of pop. Yes! Hsu is on a trampoline, on the phone, in a bunny costume, and he does a backflip. Best trick in his part. Double fist and palms out, my g. Jerry's style is the illest. Dude has been spray painting his shoes since the beginning of time. Wild. I always loved that part where he does the nollie crook on the handrail and shoots out on the landing and his slam is timed perfectly with MJ going “ow!” Bs nose blunt on a desk to line of kids hyped. Cool. Jerry’s always had “it” and will always have “it.”
Rojo/1 of 17854397534 friends sections.
Not the one you know and love, the original Mr. Joe Red. Like watching him skate, but dude has scrapped by in skateboarding with a pretty tame bag of tricks. Love how much shit he gets from Enjoi and the San Jose boyz. He is smooth on those landings though, I’ll give him that. Then it transitions to the first of 500 friend montages. The San Jose boyz know how to skate, that much is sure. First of many skatepark helmet lines make an appearance in this section. NO FUCKS TO GIVE. Famous huge cardboard VX made/held by the one and only.
Louie Barletta is in this part keeping you entertained between the onslaught of forgotten dudes’ names. “www.RONNIECREAGER.com” comes in hot with a fakie flip nose slide (or tail or whatever the fuck you think its called) to 450 shuv out on a box. Loco.
Most entertaining dude on a skateboard for the past couple decades. From his “nice hair” to his trick selection he is a fucking blast to watch. Launch ramp to brick wall session of destruction opens his part. Then straight to A-HA- Take on me. He always has the greatest 80’s songs to skate to. That jump on nose grind on that handrail is bonkers. He destroys that red old skool board too. Handplant (name of hand plant I know not) a brick bank? Yes and yes. OMG Boston trick. Gov’t center bank ride up to backlip is chill as fuck. That backyard line with 2 flatbahs and what looks like cardboard banks and run-up is cool too. How Louie can do every trick is beyond me. Cab flip down like 9...yeah thats pretty insane if you ask me. Ends with a happy-go-lucky handrail sand session wit da boyz, “Oh I think I landed that one!”
Matt Eversole. Thank you for all your work filming and editing this video.
Always find it weird when filmer has a part (Chomp On This you get a G pass from me homie) but Matt I suppose you earned it. That cross legged kf down 3 still fucking baffles me. Yes those are D3s, and yes he just did a nollie backside flip on a micro skateboard. Zips up fly mid line, that is silly. He skates to the Clash-I’m bored with the USA, but to tell you the truth I am bored with some of the skating in your part. Burn.
Loosing steam at this point and we’re only 20 into the 60 minutes. Thanks internet this used to be a treat to watch. This dude helped film the video too! Jesse skates fucking fast, and maybe its the similarity in outfits (jeans and watch) but i get a little Gino whiff. He skates in lots of iPath Cats. Thought they looked whack when I was younger but i’d do some regrettable shit to get my hands on a pair now.
I always liked this dude. Dunno what happened to him and don’t really care. I had a hard on for Mark Appleyard around the time I first saw Man Down and the combo of the Flexfit hats, jeans, and Circa’s rocks and keeps me excited to watch this part. Shift to Ricky Espinoza. He does tricks. Someone throws a frisbee awfully close to him during a line. Random 16mm footage of him after he does a switch tail down a handrail.
Friend sections for ever...
Guns and Roses - My Michelle keeps you intrigued while they let every fucking person that has ever lived in San Jose get a trick for their video. Some dude dressed like an early 90’s metal head just does a fucking flat ground fs flip. Cab does some shit. Transition to some weird sentimental Smashing fucking Pumpkins song called “sweet sweet” for a doubles friend section. Makes you wanna pour one out for the homies.
*This is the part you skip* Full metal jacket quote plays, “Your days of fingerbanging old maryjane rotten crotch are over!” Good quote. Another friends section. Gen x-your generation is a cool song. Thanks Billy Idol you crazy son-of-a-bitch.
Jai (don't know who the fuck that is) and Jason “the Kid” Adams
“eat steak eat steak eat a big old steer” is a funny song. Didn’t care for the Kid when I was younger but I really like him now. Skateparks and parking lots. Kid’s got that greaser style and I back dat. Good ole fashion fun.
He skates to Del Da Funky Homo. I hate that guy. Del collects fucking razor scooters. This is a fact. Flatground benihana as an ender while smoking a cig is nutty though. I've tried this trick many times and I still don’t get it and its fucked.
Warehouse montage/Another friend section
“Feels like one long Matix ad” proclaimed @robcollinsphoto. And he is right.
Yup another. Colt Cannon is in this one though so its pretty cool. I miss that dude. Where’d you go cargo Colt?!
Weezer aye? Not bad Mr. Dingle Berry. Love his skating but this dude can be credited with keeping Pac Sun alive throughout the 2000’s. Every outfit: flex fit hat, volcom tee, studded belt, and Osiris shoes. C’mon mane! Lines, rails, gaps, ya he can do it all. 10-ft air over Cab at the local skatepark gets the thumbs up. Backlip down 15 stair handrail to painfully long close up on the face of the most unammused Caswell ender.
“Big guns baby, big guns”. MJ. The main event.
Second Rolling Stones song in one video, but im not opposed. MJ is always proper as fuck. He is wearing the craziest pom pom beanie known to man. Typed in “pom pom beanie” into google images and look who I saw! He may do the best back lip on a flatbar ever captured. I think I like adidas wearing MJ the most. He looks at home in some shell toes. So many posed rollaways. Where you at Dlyan? ...And all you wanna be Dylans? MJ did it before you and better than you. Switch hard flip back tail on a ledge ender be like woah.
God this video is a marathon. Fuck you internet for giving me skA.D.D. More party hijinks and bromance shit for dem feel good vibes mon. Clip of Evers trying to bang a chick and she spots the hidden camera is gold. MJ “I was jumped, I was ambushed, I was bushwhacked! Whatchu gonna do about that man!”
Vans skatepark destruction montage
Darth Vader theme music plays, pretty sweet. Louie gets kicked in the nuts for not landing a trick at a skatepark. For some reason everyone but Jose Rojo has to wear a helmet at the Vans park. Really? He looks like he could benefit most from a little helmet protection. The Kid fucking murders the park with some huge airs in a wife beater. “Coltilingus Cannon Cock” has the craziest extension on a kf indy over a fun box i have ever seen. looks like he's doing a supahman seat grab or some shit.
Guest post by Phillip "Mikey" McCormick.