VHS Review Volume VI: Shorty's Guilty

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I just want to say that this was the first skate video I ever owned, and I hated it so much that I watched it once, and then went and bought Menikmati. I was so scarred that It wasn’t until 2 weeks ago that I went back and watched it, and realized the masterpiece that it is. With that said, I guess there’s only one place to start. The beginning.


Intro

intro

This has to be the most insane intro in skate video history. First off, it is 7 minutes before you actually get to a skate part. Think about that. A seven minute intro. That’s twice as long as any of the parts in the video (except Muska, of course), albeit the intro is broken out into two unbelievable sections. The first is a seizure inducing compilation of tour clips, bails, makes, and miscellaneous Shorty’s hijinx (e.g. eating McDonald’s and shooting cops). Honestly though, the amount of work put into this section must have taken a year in and of itself.

The second part of the intro gives us the plot. Ok, so get ready for it. The Shorty’s team is sentenced to the death penalty. DEATH BY FIRING SQUAD. For skateboarding. Incredible. So as our heroes are being taken to the desert, they are rescued by another group of skateboarders who cut the van off, and continue to murder both police officers with assault rifles. Let that marinate. The Shorty’s team then skateboards away from the scene of the crime. This is the plot line of the video, but we actually HEAR NOTHING ABOUT THIS AGAIN until the very end of the video.

Brandon Turner

brandon turner

Yes, Brandon Turner, the original rap over your own part dude. Step up TK. Brandon raps about everything from darksliding to hardflipping on the hood of a cop car. So sick. I have to keep coming back to the editing of this video. It’s such a great mix of skate tricks, still shots of the guys modeling Shorty’s gear, and daps. Keep an eye out for the switch gap to boardslide. Kerry…Brandon did it first. This is also the part where Brandon Turner switch hardflips Carlsbad, which is actually out of fucking control.

Jesse Silvey

jesse silvey

After watching this video, SMLtalk is determined to seek out Jesse Silvey and bring him back. This dude’s part is super short, but it’s possibly the most watchable part in the video. Great song, solid style, and good trick selection. Ender is a switch big flip at 3rd and Army. Love you Jesse.

Sammy Baptista

sammy

Sammy Baptista, the switch flip back tail godddd. Sammy’s part is way ahead of it’s time, and I’m pretty sure had a Thrasher Classics (rightfully so). Skates to Gangstarr, good fit. I think Sammy (aside from maybe Toan) was the only dude on the team who was running the nosegrind pop out, which was so hot at this time. Notable trick done in this part: switch backside flip to nosegrind pop out. So…not like a backside 180 nosegrind, but a backside 180 fakie 5-0, but with a flip, and pop out. It's the one above...Insane. Good job Sammy.

Steve Olson

steve olson

Damnit, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Steve Olson is the ultimate underdog. He actually has absolutely nothing going for him. He has the same name as a legendary pro, he looks like Sideshow Bob, his feet are about a size 14, and he has that weird goatee where its just a mustache and some chin fuzz. Steve has no board control whatsoever, but just happens to land tricks. His first trick is a switch crooks on an out ledge, and he clips the last stair. Foreshadowing, folks, remember, this video is a work of art. The tone is set for the rest of the part, in which approximately 76% of his flip tricks bounce off of the ground before he lands them. I could analyze this part clip for clip but the takeaways are as follows: half of the clips are filmed at skateparks or the Shorty’s facility, which appears to consist of one obstacle: a drop into a giant bank. He might be the only person aside from Koston himself skated more than one pair of the eS K3. Throughout the part there are just random cartoon boards flipping and yin yang signs. Lastly, he has possibly the most insane gear in recorded history. Everything from lanyards in the pocket to backwards caps, khaki cargos 30 sizes too big. Well, just watch the damn part, but don’t get spooked by the intro!

Toan Nguyen

toan

Was always hyped/confused by Toan’s intro. He’s cruising around in a go cart, get’s home to what we can only assume is his parents house, finds a skate mag, has to take a shit, and then displays his belt buckle which reads “TOAN”...alright... Toan and Sammy were really the dudes who kept this video moving forward. These dudes were young and progressive, and just skated a lot cleaner than the rest of the team. Toan had a good style and was pretty gnarly as far as tech guys go at this time. Kickflip back tail on an out rail, pretty dope. This part is real good, especially for the time.

Peter Smolik

smolik

YES! This part is too good. It’s a rap video!!! No seriously, yes there is skating in it, but it is also a rap video for the Federalz that could be on MTV. Smolik does his standard tricks, which are always sick. Super high popped flip tricks and insanely tech ledge tricks. Damn, people loved to do really long noseslides back then. Notable tricks here: front shove backside nosegrind to shove 5-0, half cab nosegrind, backside 180 to switch 5-0, 180 out, and back tail shove back tail shove. 2001, ladies and gentlemen.

Chad Muska

muska

Who else is going to get last part? I mean, people love to hate on Jamie Thomas for giving himself last part, but how many last parts has the Muska given himself? But nobody questions it, and they shouldn’t. Here’s why. Muska does about 43 backside noseslides, and 26 fs tailslides to fakie in this part. Also – while watching this, noticed that Sinner is really just a wannabe Muska. Ya know, I think Jamie Thomas is just a wannabe Muska too. In fact, I think everybody is just a wannabe Muska. The guy is a fucking genius, and he banged Paris Hilton, who wouldn’t want to be him. Anyway, kind of got sidetracked there, but the things you should pay attention to in this part are the fact that he is rocking a gold chain throughout the majority of it, and also he grinds both ledges at clipper in a line. This part is really just too much to take in with one viewing. I recommend about 5 or 6.

Okay, so after Muska’s part is the best part of the video. Muska is skating with about 300 little kids following him. He starts pushing much faster than them, and then he clears a water gap off of a kicker, while the caption reads “Skateboarding is about having fun…so go do it.” WHICH IS IMMEDIATE PROCEEDED BY THE FOLLOWING SCENE: The Shorty’s crew is back in the van somehow (recaptured?) and they are taken out of the van, and appear to have been executed. BUT IN A TWIST OF EVENTS, the cops take off masks and are secretly the Shorty’s team! (which means they killed the cops, again).

muska end

All in all, nothing quite captures the Shorty's demographic during this time, than Guilty. Take 30-40 minutes out of your day, and watch Guilty. You won't regret it.

Dave