A Live Review of an Illegally Downloaded Copy of B True

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This video is called B True. Well let me tell you, I was B-ing True to myself when I didn’t buy this video and illegally downloaded it thanks to a buddy of mine. Here’s a little disclaimer – obviously everyone in this video is insane and the tricks are nuts and whatever and it’s really cool to see skateboarding progress like this, but holy shit. Who ever thought progression could be so damn boring?

Here’s what I observed.

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Chris Jocklin

Oh shit, its Air Pudwill. Pretty good look to be crying and tossing your board roughly 4 seconds into your “big debut”. This kid reminds me of the dude that you never wanted to sit at your lunch table and always had dirt and Kool-Aid all over his face but was really good at kickball – except replace kickball with skateboarding. Definitely says "YEAH THATS RIGHT!" and things of that nature after he lands his ender.

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Felipe

I have a theory that they x’d PJ from the video because him and this dude skate too much alike, only this dude does way more insane tricks, so PJ’s tricks wouldn’t have been as relevant. Therefore, fuck this dude and his so-good-you’re-actually-bad stee. PJ would never wear a Red Bull hat.

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Pat Duffy

Hm. Pretty crazy that this dude is 66 and better than all of us at Sml Talk. He definitely still needs to empty his pockets though.

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ScRyan Decenzo

Wait a second. How did a part from the Darkstar video make it in? Are they doing collaboration boards with Plan B? That’s really nice of Plan B to do that. I just wish they chose Gailea Momolu instead of this guy. I give this part 3 snapped Canadian Dwindle boards just for the multiple shots of him air-jerking off.

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Tommy Mcglunt

Damn, what a cutie! They’re really continuing with the Darkstar theme here. I didn't know they made Canadian Darkstar riders in California. At least he did a front shuv, that was cool. This has to be the last time we ever see a part from him judging by the dead ass middle of the video curse.

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Sheckler

I think I see his thyroid swelling from massive amounts of Red Bull intake. I hear he has a bad ankle and that’s why he didn’t backside flip El Toro. I wonder if that has anything to do with him schlucking down synthetic rocket sugar in a can 10 times daily. Pretty sure he actually pulls a hair out of his ass during this second to last clip, peep the screen shot.

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(Red Bull Flip)

Puds

This dude hasn't showered in years, looks like a 10 year old, but still fucks hotter chicks than Drake. "You can't always get what you want"? That's a joke. All you want is a pound of weed, a Half-Cab ass lookin’ DVS pro model, some Red Bull grip, and an Instagram model. Looks like you got it all. Did you guys peep that Nike jersey in one of his clips. Quite? I heard he did that to get sued by DVS so he could help keep the company afloat when he loses the case, paying them millions. Call it a donation. Honestly I stopped paying attention after the never ending kickflip lipslide kickflip lipslide kickflip lipslide kickflip lipslide kickflip lipslide kickflip lipslide.

So there you have it. If you haven’t seen the video it is definitely worth checking out. Just hit me up and I’ll give you my bootleg guy’s number.

- Chris