VHS Review XI: Zero "Dying to Live"

This was one of the most watched videos in my VHS collection growing up skating with some of my neighborhood friends. We would sit in my buddy’s basement, fire up the ol’ T.V covered in skate stickers, pop in the tape, skate a mini ramp made out of cardboard (Desperate times, man) eat candy, and revel in the glory of skateboarding that existed in 2002. Hand rails, rock n’ roll, and Jamie Thomas. Who could ask for anything more? During this era, with the likes of Flip’s heavy hitter Sorry and Deca’s 2nd to None coming out, the Zero video always stood out, and had a special place within me and my crew. Enjoy.

Intro

Kicking it off with the Misfits clad skele-person laughing in slow motion (reminiscent of a Toy Machine intro?), as The Who’s “We Won’t Get Fooled Again” builds in the background, the Halloween tinted titles warmly invite us into the madness. ZERO. PROUDLY. PRESENTS. “DYING TO LIVE” (I think they used too many. Editing choices, Jamie). What follows is a barrage of jump cuts matched to the drums of the legendary Keith Moon that only would fly for a video with hucking of this caliber. When the crescendo peaks, being Townsend’s epic “YEAHHHHHHH”, the Chief launches a 50-50 down some godforsaken handrail and you know at this exact moment that this video is gonna blow your fucking 12 year old mind. After just one minute of footage, there is already a total of 23 handrail tricks in the video. Jesus. Moving on.

Jon Allie

Talk about setting the bar high: Slayer’s “Tormentor” blasting as Allie proceeds to destroy all of your handrails. Speed, style, and a penchant for flipping into grinds create a mind-melter of an opener. That kickflip noseslide down the 13 stair is a thing of pure, unadulterated beauty.

One question always stuckout in my mind though; who the fuck is the dude on the bike double-peg grinding a rail that is recklessly thrown in the middle of his part? Was he a friend? Did he get paid? Was it secretly Wade Burkitt? It doesn’t matter. This was 2002, and skateboarding did not give one flying fuck about “image”. This is ZERO god damnit.

John Rattray

Upon watching this again, I was curious why John Rattray went after Jon Allie. Was it to distinguish who was who in the Jon/John category? I dunno, fuck it. Now we have the Scottish Jamie Thomas, skating to the most karaoke song ever, “500 Miles” by The Proclaimers. The band is Scottish. Rattray is Scottish. Coincidence? I think not. The part fits well after Allie’s, with a mix of handrails, wonky lines (Notables including: Nollie 360 flip IMMEDIATELY followed by a Stalefish Front 180 down MACBA) and whatever the hell this thing is:

Feel good part, feel good song, ender was dope. Gotta love the ‘ttray.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Loose Fitting Button Up Shirts

Matt Mumford

The Mum starts his part with the most fitting visual description of who he is as a person: a guy who probably knocks himself out cold on a daily basis. Peep this and prepare for a GNARLY section:

First trick in the part is a line? Followed by another line? Is this dude in the right video? Oh shit.. back lip to fakie on a rail to immediate ‘CRETE SIGHTING. He fits. Mumford proceeds to skate over some pool channels and death boxes, snagging a few tricks along the way while Queen’s “One Vision” blares through your T.V’s arguably horrible speakers. Chugging along through the part, we have a plethora of rails, some flip tricks not into rails, and a pretty good amount of pool skating. Wait a second, what the…was he wearing a blazer during that back smith? Where did he get that? Did Jamie make him wear it? Was that Ellington doing a switch flip? This part was equal parts sick and confusing. Great job, Mumford and Sons.

Ryan Bobier

I really like this part, when Bobier was a young and scrappy am looking to make his place on the Zero squad. His “don’t give a shit attitude” comes complete with song lyrics including “We don’t like you, go away!” from The Adverts. Clocking in at one minute, the part is chock fulla handrails, a Baker board, and for some reason, a nollie frontside 180 down the stair set NEXT TO the Carlsbad gap. Maybe if he had just skated the gap, he wouldn’t have been exiled to MYSTERY. Talented guy, cool part, definitely misunderstood.

Side note: Me and my dumb friends used to call him Ryan “Bobbier”. Anyone else? No? Shit.

FRIEND TIME

I think this might be the only video other than one put on YouTube by an eleven year old that actually uses the title “FRIENDS” before delving into the part. Set to an American classic, Neil Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World”, we’re treated to a kickass montage full of legends. Since I suck at identifying people in friends sections, we’re only going to highlight two things: the guy who tried fingerflip boardslide twice didn’t land it, but made it in the video, and the ender: Ben Gilley’s massive 50-50. Two insane slams, followed by the grand finale.

Here is the thing I noticed. We will see this EXACT same set of clips play out seven years later in the 2009 Zero classic Strange World featuring the exact same person, trick, and editing. At the end of the split part from Rattray/Piscopo/Melishinski/Cervantes, we got a clip of Gilley getting WORKED on a giant Frontside 50-50, a second clip of him slamming, and a third clip of him getting thrown into a fucking bush. Only to have the last clip be him sticking the trick in question, in gorgeous slow motion (great effect for skateboard videos). More or less the same thing that happened oh so long ago.

Zero videos are formulaic, from content, to filming, to music choices.. Speaking of that…

Adrian Lopez

That very sweet segue was referring to the fact that Jamie Thomas, whom I can only assume chose the music for this video, elected to use a song by the Gipsy Kings (A French band who sings in Spanish?) for Adrian. We get it. He is of some form of Latino decent. Give him a Spanish song! We saw this earlier with John Rattray’s part receiving the song from The Proclaimers. Anyway, Adrian rips around and has stunning pop for a dude who looks a bit on the short side. Stand outs from this part IMHO are the nollie half cab heel over the barrier in Barcelona and the uses of “fade to blacks” mid part to coincide with a lull in the beautiful strumming of the G.K’s guitars.

Half cab boardslide ender is a real sign of the times for this video. Bien hecho, Adrian!

Lindsey Robertson

Latter half of the video. It’s fucking hammer time. We open with a young Lindsey Robertson slamming on some rather large shit and proceeding to throw his board around like a 12 year old having a tantrum after learning his pressure flip is in fact NOT a hardflip. After focusing a handrail, his shirt, and a small portable radio, we begin with what might be the most epic song in a video part ever.

Pictured: An epic song

Lindsey starts us off with a slow motion (again, great effect) montage of some really epic stuff, including a very dope and chill shakka after landing a frontside ollie over a double set rail. Montage continues, more large and slow motioned tricks, a #veryrare frontside flip, and a nollie heel down the Temple 12 featuring some self-stoke. Classic Lindsey! Can’t comment on the heelflip indy, as it more or less speaks for itself.

Pictured: An epic streetgrab

Lindsey treats us to a shit ton of heelflips, a front board down a 20 stair looking the wrong way, all culminating with the crown jewel heelflip at the Hollywood 16. Roasted it. Thanks Lindsey.

Ryan Smith

Local bad dude Ryan Smith now shows up on the scene with a line at the famous Sants Benches in Barcelona. Dude roasts a kickflip crook on the top of the bench, immediately grabs a beer, takes a swig (In that elusive slow motion technique) before blowing a nollie noseslide. We’re in for some shit.

This is what your mom thinks skateboarding is if you're over the age of 18. She's right.

As Kurt Cobain’s guitar screeches through the intro, we see Smith funnel a beer, slam a bunch, some titties pop up, and a giddy young Canadian chugs Molson while lying on the ground. 10/10 for your kickass intro Mr. Smith. Lotta hucking coming from the 22 year old from the North in what is definitely a stand out part from the video, though short. Notables include kickflip over the rail at Rincon to board break, the insanely perfect backside flip down MACBA, and of course the backside 360 down the infamous Carlsbad gap*. Thank you for your contribution.

*Sources revealed it was down the stairs next to the gap

Chris “Cobra” Cole

Fade in. Cobra down. Spits. Double studded wrist flair from Hot Topc. Styx. This part is really going to be something. Even your dad would walk by, hear the opening line to “Renegade”, and give it a watch.

"That's how I looked when I saw Styx at the Orpheum in '75, son"

This is the second time in my life that I’ve seen Chris Cole, first being in Thrasher’s Timebomb, released just one year earlier, where he was wearing insanely large clothing, and wasn’t all Cobra’d out. Cole provides a lot of tech wizardry that has been sorely lacking throughout the video up to this point, along with the, most likely required, big gaps/rails. Back tail shuv in Spain? Wild. Kickflip back noseblunt ender? Damn, thank you Colebra.

Suck it, handrail.

For whatever reason, I believe this to be Chris Cole’s best part. He became a super human on a skateboard in recent years, and this part just feels like a classic dude who knows how to skate. Relatable? Absolutely not. Fathomable? Surely. (Minus the insane amount of boot-cut denim).

Jamie “The Chief” Thomas

This is it, friends. The part we’ve all been waiting for. Jamie Thomas. The same guy that tried melon grabbing off of a building, a clip you most certainly downloaded off Kazaa which promptly destroyed your computer. As his part opens, you’re nervous, anxious, and probably ill-prepared for the insane amount of things that will be hanging out of his pockets throughout. Here is a conversation that was 100% had during filming:

Filmer: Hey Jamie, wanna toss the shirt in the car?
Jamie: Naw, I’m good. (Definitely just putting this shit in my back left pocket, man)

Rush’s “2112” blows your ears apart as The Chief proceeds to annihilate. We are currently watching a man who started his career by being homeless in San Francisco and ollieing gaps barefoot, to go on to build his own company, establish a cult like following, risk life and limb for last part in this video of epic proportions. A true living legend.

From the mid part break where we’re told by Geddy Lee that “The meek shall inherit the earth” (Biblical reference #1) as Jamie lipslides a monolithic rail, to the slaughter that continues, Jamie doesn’t disappoint. Say what you want about the guy, but the part is of legend. The ender, a perfectly balanced backside nosegrind down a mountain of a hubba, was wild and awe inspiring. Last clip is a quote from Psalm 18:1 “I love you, O’Lord, My Strength” (Biblical reference #2). Whatever gets you through, bud. Roll credits.

Flair in Pocket Count: 23 Pieces

Slam Section

Genuinely don’t want to write about the slam section. Not fun. The opening clip is Jamie Thomas going backwards directly to his god damned head, and making the worst sounds I’ve ever heard. We’re now treated to a fantastic montage of our new found friends attempting to kill themselves for our entertainment. Just a few quick things:

Fingerflip boardslide guy is back. No dice.

And the fact that this fatty to flatty that probably killed the guy:

Outro

This is the only humanizing element to the whole video. Starting with a tandem hillbomb with someone riding someone else down a hill, we see the fun side of these guys. Slamming, playing jokes on each other, Ryan Smith getting “super punched” by Lee Dupont, and all of the quintessential B-Roll that makes for a great way to relax after such a gnarly video. As “Layla” enters its final act, we’re given a black and white (early allusion to Mystery?) photo montage of the various trips, parties, days in the editing room, and more from the boys in black. Great send off. Thank you for a classic that inspired a bunch of kids to jump recklessly off of things they shouldn’t, Zero.

VHS Review Volume X: Sight Unseen

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WELCOME to the tenth VHS review. 

Today we'll be covering non other than quite possibly the greatest Transworld video of all time, Sight Unseen. Look at that lineup. Cardiel, Henry Sanchez, Tosh, Dustin, and Heath. Heavy. Well - we might as well get right into it. 

 

The intro is pretty standard for Transworlds at this time. Just your typical Dave Swift quick cut intro bullshit, gotta love it. 

Cardiel. 

Alright - let's be honest, this is the takeaway part from the video. Gonz opens it up with the voiceover intro, and perhaps one of the most memorable quotes all time:

"He's a ripper, an original ripper, he's an original Coors"

I actually really like the way that the intros were done here, with the location, a little lifestyle, and a few kind words. It really brings it all home and gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling. Or maybe I'm just a giant pussy. 

 

It's funny watching this part now in an age when concrete transition skating is so common. But yet this still holds up. Why? Well - it's because Cardiel wants it more. My favorite thing about this dude is that even when he runs out of speed he puts in extra to get it back just to get ONE MORE trick in, for seemingly no reason other than the simple notion of getting one more trick in. He's not showing off, he just actually likes skating enough to want to get one more in when for the rest of us we'd just let it go. Man this part goes by way too fast.

Obvious notable items:

  • slam trying to pump the bank before the smith
  • union square rail 50
  • clipper bluntslide
  • insane reggae song (sizzla - haunted & nervous)

Oh yeah and definitely one of the top 10 most beautiful clips in a skate video.

 

 

 

Alright so next up is the vert montage. Now I want to take a moment here and outright blame Transworld videos for vert's lack of popularity during this time. Have you watched this section? No, of course you haven't. It's absolutely the most boring *let's put this in here so that people have time to talk about Cardiel's part / take a piss* section in history. It's actually unwatchable, and to all the vert guys in this section - I personally apologize. 

NEXT

Henry Sanchez. 

Man - this part. Whew. To be honest when I first saw this I wasn't super psyched on this section. Maybe it's because at that point I didn't really know who Henry Sanchez was. I actually think I knew who Marcus was more at this point. Anyway, let's dig into it. 

 

For this part Marcus McBride gives the voice over intro. Would've rather it been Lavar but that's neither here nor there. The voice over is touching, and gives the old "don't call it a comeback" sort of vibe. Marcus' clips in this are fucking sick - so make sure to rewatch those, but damn the lines that Henry puts together are absolutely nuts. ALSO - please take note of the Manteca's, this might be the most Manteca part ever. One of my favorite clips in this is the manual varial heel out line (?) where after he lands the varial heel out the filmer for some reason keeps going as he pushes and turns around. I back it. 

 

 

So then we basically get a Marcus mini section where he absolutely fucks up the Pier 7 ledges skating them the way he always does - straight over. The nollie back heel is MWAH, and comes right before Henry's absolutely fucked ender. Fakie heel fakie manny. Jeeze. 

 

 

So then we get a no-so-painful montage with a bunch of Ray Barbee and Tommy G which is actually really nice. Almost makes up for the unbearable vert section that came prior. Ray doing no comply's years before they started #trending puts a smile on everybody's face.

Tosh Townend.

Man - when you're a kid watching this it's hard not to hate Tosh and just disregard his skating, but looking back at it, the kid was a fuckin' G. Sure, maybe he didn't really have a personality and seemed like the stoner, surfer high school dropout that got every chick he wanted that you could never get, but that's no reason to hate him. What? I'm just jealous? What are you talking about?

 

Anyway - Tosh doesn't get a voice over intro. In fact - nobody else gets a voice over intro from here on out. Kind of weird, but we're going to look over this inconsistency as to not embarrass those involved. Actually - if we can get some sort of answer as to what happened here that would be great. 

J Mascis on the soundtrack fits perfectly, even though he probably didn't even know who J Mascis was...

HES WEARING THE EMERICA MJ'S FOLKS. Ugh my heart is actually breaking during this part. He has a skatepark line which I love. The thing I love about Tosh is that he wasn't afraid to get absolutely annihilated on a rail and then go back for it. Great part, nose manny nollie flip is classic. 

 

Another montage. Is there a montage after every part? (answer, pretty much yes) This one is to the Shins, pre-Shins popularity, maybe Dave Swift had just seen Garden State, who knows. Not even sure if the timeline is right on that. All I know is that BA has some clips in this section which makes it WELL worth the watch. WAIT HOLD ON - a couple things here. Cairo has a clip, DUH.

Real question: Has there ever been a montage in a skate video that Cairo Foster has not had a clip in?

...just something to think about.

Other things to keep an eye out for in this section - Bob's insane kickflip indy, and DILL'S SECTION. Why is he grinding a hubba? Oh yeah, because this is gnar-Dill, a very rare and forgotten form. And then Alf gets the fucking ender - you're damn right. 

Speaking of Alf - did everybody see that clip of him that Lucas Puig posted on instagram? Insane. 

 

Ok so when this was being filmed in 2000 Dustin was about 20, which would put him at about 35 in Dollin years. 

He still looks sort of like a kid, but definitely well on the way to the belligerent drunk that we all know and love . Keep an eye out for the Baker boys section with Bryan Herman, Evan Hernandez, etc. Pretty standard insanely reckless Dustin part with three mainly notable items:

  • kickflip front blunt 
  • crook down the steepest rail on the planet
  • koston and scoochy BGPs in the ender

 

Quick weird little rollerblade guy thing, then our long awaited last part.

Heath Kirchart. 

My goodness. I'm going to stop and watch this real quick, then I'll continue on the second viewing. 

 

Man - first off, who ever knew that one of the best parts in skate history would be to a song by your dad's favorite band. This part is so damn good, and the song honestly fucking rules. The intro is perfect, very ominous, no shots of Heath himself of course, but somehow before his name even pops up, you just know. 

Man - every time Heath rides away it looks like he's going to go punch somebody in the face. You know, the magic with Heath is that nothing is too complicated, yet the way he does things is absolutely inconceivable. Let me reiterate. 

You can't fake Heath's style. 

 

You can fake Sean Pablo's style, or Lucas' style (I'm talking to you Miles) and probably the style of most other skaters if you really wanted to, but there is something so genuinely unique about the way he chooses and does tricks that makes it impossible to duplicate. I mean - you can see it. Look how he rides away from his front tails to regular, the leg curled, toe pointed. Or how he lands fakie. Also perhaps the quickest flick ever. Damn. This part is powerful. Am I crying? Why am I crying?

Anyway - credits, the end. I need a tissue. 

VHS Review Volume IX: Emerica's This Is Skateboarding (2003)

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"But I feel like I’ve always been hip-hop though. No matter what, I’m hip-hop, straight up", said Andrew Reynolds as he opened a half-joking, half one-hundred-percent-serious response to a question raised in his recent interview with The Chrome Ball Incident. Coming from someone I consider to be a godfather of skateboarding's punk rock movement, this was an odd statement to read. I took some time, and after re-evaluating my entire childhood it all started to make sense. Reynolds is hip-hop. He always has been. Hip-hop however, much like punk rock is not simply a genre of music. It cannot be categorized by how it sounds or looks. It is not something that can be appraised and quantified at face value. It is none of that. Like punk rock, hip hop is a state of mind - and let me tell you, there's nothing more hip-hop than a ten foot tall noseslide bigspin.

I'm gonna take a step back for a second, though. 2003 was an insane year for skate videos, and for better or for worse, was coincidentally an insane year for hip-hop albums. The same year we were blessed with shrink-wrapped, VHS copies of Yeah Right!, Mosaic, and The DC Video, we were blessed with Compact Disc or KaZaA bootlegs of 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Tryin', Diplomatic Immunity by (you guessed it) The Diplomats, and Outkast's Speakerboxxx/The Love Below. There must have been something going on in the cosmos that year to allow so much goodness to coexist.

But while all of this insanity was playing out, 2003 gave us another monumental video for the library - Emerica's This is Skateboarding. Now I'll admit, I'm not entirely sure where I was going with this whole comparison of rap albums to skate videos, but I am sure of one thing: Andrew Reynolds is hip-hop in the same way This is Skateboarding is hip-hop. They both just are. To better paint the picture, I've decided to give TIS the VHS Review treatment. Here goes nothing.

I'll start off really exactly at the beginning here. Nothing says "I was released at the peak of the Jackass Era" quite like a WARNING! message, which appears within the video's first 15 seconds of play time. Be safe kids, and definitely don't use the 'F' Word, even if Tosh is the one saying it. Now that we've gotten that out there, lets get right into it.

Intro

warning
warning

Oh man, honestly did not expect this to look so good. Is this the intro to a new HBO show? I need to have long hair. My hair needs to grow longer, and I need to be cooler, and live in LA. God dammit. Oh, alright, Drew has short hair, I guess I'm good for now. And why is everything kind of green?

Heath

 

This fat dude won't shut the fuck up, and you know what, I think he's the one getting hostile. Man, fuck him...Is this the 'F' word they were talking about, and did Heath just smile? Now the skating. Why is he going so fast, and where is this line going? He can't be skating this hubba switch...alright, fakie flip on flat. Aha, he's turning around. Hold on, that thing is a lot larger than I thought. You can still stop, Heath, you don't have to try it this time...Just had to try it didn't you?

This slam is almost worse than Matt Schlager vs. 13 Flat 13. He must love the pain. Really a classic Heath part, and kind of crazy to think that he opened the video. After finding out that kickflips were possible out of backside tailslides on handrails, we're treated to three angles of a kickflip frontside 5050 at the famously blue UC Berkely (?) Rail. One important detail about this ender though is that Heath actually kickflipped up and out to the last four steps of this rail, which basically means he did that on a four stair. Pretty soft ender if you ask me.

Bryan Herman

 

'Bryan Herman-related Reynolds 2 sales vs. Cherry-related Chuck Taylor sales' is the title of a sales report I would thoroughly enjoy reading. This dude is seriously just repping throughout the entirety of his part, and looking cooler than every other teenage menace East of Los Angeles in the process. He was hucking, grinding handrails attached to more stairs than he was years old, and wearing striped rugby polos before that was ever a thing. Moving on, we see bits and pieces of the Herman we know today, but it looks like he hadn't quite mastered the nollie inward heelflip he is now comfortable tossing over full size trash barrels yet. Still quite the debut for Herman though, and an easily overlooked gap ollie to open his part, too. Classic.

Templeton

2002goldtempletonssmall-360
2002goldtempletonssmall-360

It should be noted at this point that Jon Miner has fucking nailed it with the transitions between parts in this video. After Herman's part fades to black, we're taken behind the scenes to a Barcelona session. Just when we think Herman is going in for a second part, Templeton steps in to try a kickflip into the bank and fails miserably. There's nothing more comforting to me than seeing an established, respected professional skateboarder struggle to kickflip *the right way* - they are human, after all.

templeton
templeton

Anyhow, what we are supplied with in the following minutes is arguably Templeton's best part (18 stair lipslide fresh off a neck break, c'mon man). Though short and sweet, a lot of ground is covered. Between spots presumably not far from the HB Pier to ones definitely a lot further from it, we start to realize that a lot of traveling was done to make this video. Ed is also sure to remind us that the impossible might be named as such because it is perhaps less than possible to perform one as properly as he. Then alas, an 18 stair lipslide - Holy shit. I think all of us, Ed included, were psyched to find out his board was the only thing that broke upon impact. If you're reading this, I love you Ed.

Austin Stephens

 

What a seriously good looking dude. I want everyone reading this who can't yet buy their own 40-ounce to understand that Austin Stephens was the first dude with a membership card to team handsome. First dude who ever skated to Belle & Sebastian, wore a weird Gangs of New York chimney sweeper type of hat for a while, and found a way to gently skate handrails. One of the shortest parts in the vid, and also a part with no lines. Does this sort of make him the anti-Dill?

Aaron Suski

Here's a part that could have just as easily appeared on the 7 Year Glitch lineup. Much like his Stay gold part, I feel like this one is widely under-appreciated. Suski is truly an all terrain vehicle, and is one of few skaters who has a grind named after him that actually looks cool (I'll revoke this statement once the fandangle is renamed the Fabrizio - give him the respect he deserves). Watching this part I'm not sure whether I like street Aaron or transition Aaron better. Short answer, for now, is both. Part ends with a session on a giant piece of rust jutting out at the end of a kicker. Why, Aaron? Lipslide is the ender, but that front board fatty-to-flatty is what legends are made of.

Ams

Maintaining the spirit of insane part transitions, the sound of Suski's salsa track (which I'm certain he hand-picked) quickly morphs into the sound of a song by a band named 'Bleed the Sky'. Thus begins the merciless crusade of Emerica's up-and-comer crew at the time. We're first introduced to Braydon Szafranski, whose debut is marked by an unsuccessful shifty flip down Santa Monica triple. The boy has heart though, and does a shit ton of other stuff to make up for it.

Then we've got Leo, who is carelessly placed in the middle of this whole blitz of an am's section. This is a dude who clearly should have had his own part, and definitely made sure the same mistake wouldn't be made next time around. Here, similarly to Herman though, we're still seeing the makings of a star. There's a chest-high noseslide in there too, wow. You'll get em next time Leo.

The part, almost tragically, ends with Matt Allen. Emerica clearly had a lot invested in this dude at the time, but as we all know now that never quite materialized. Dude could 5-0 the fuck out of a handrail though, I can tell ya that much. Seems like he probably just ran out of handrails that were big enough to 5-0, which makes me wonder: does he have anything against Ben Gilley? He MUST. What would the world be like if Matt Allen 5-0'd El Toro instead of Ben Gilley? I guess we'll never know.

Darren Navarrette

Again, I think this choice in editing is actually kinda smart. They gave us Herman, the young guy, then threw Ed's part on, for the older guys. Now we just went from free swim in the kiddie pool with the am boys to a full on party in the deep end with Darren Navarrette (see what I did there?). I always feel like a fraud trying to say anything about pool skating having never even considered dropping into any type of bowl, but this part isn't entirely awful to watch. Like, if your remote was sort of far from your couch, it would take longer for you to retrieve it and fast-forward thru the part than to just sit there and watch the remaining 20 seconds of it. Just saying.

Erik Ellington

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ellington2

Erik fucking Ellington. Not kidding if there was a number before one that wasn't zero, that's where he'd rank in my G.O.A.T. list. Ellington released the best Emerica pro-model/colorway EVER, invented the handboard, is from Alaska, then in this part, skated to Danzig. If you were skeptical of Ellington's legend status before, this part puts all doubts to bed.

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ellington

As far as non-frontside flips/bigspins are concerned, Ellington shows up with a surprising bag of tricks for this part. Notable wildcards are a switch backside flip down 9 in Beverly Hills, and a switch-varial heelflip down another 9 Jereme Rogers would one day perform it's kickflip counterpart over. Also some really good product on display here. Besides the previously mentioned G.C.O.A.T., it appears Ellington requested a shit ton of brown/gum shoes throughout the filming of his part. I think he was probably saving the whole two different colored shoes thing for the Baker video.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98M1_DIznbI&w=560&h=315]

My only qualm is that the part is over before it really starts. Though short and sweet/quality over quantity is great, I really would rather just watch 10 hours of Ellington skateboarding.

Tosh

At this point into the video, and after watching Ellington's part, I actually laughed out loud when I remembered Tosh had a part. We're talking about a blonde DUDE here. I used to really fucking hate this dude, I think because he was on Element? Watching this part now though, as an adult, I realize how good he was. Lots of very chill lines...I think maaaaybe Tosh smokes weed. I also think Tosh's best trick is his ride. He is really just incredible at riding his skateboard. All of this set to Lee 'Scratch' Perry makes everything alright.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYTptEeHD_I&w=560&h=315]

Chris Senn

senn
senn

From one surfer to another, Tosh transitions into Chris Senn's part. How on Earth does someone specialize in bowl skating AND handrails? Thank god though, because I couldn't handle another pool section. Some crazy things happen in this part though. Like I'm talking reckless things. Perhaps the most profound thing Chris does for us is a double flip off the wall at Burnside. Yes, this man did a double kickflip on transition, and it was incredible. There's also a back noseblunt shuv in there, as well as a kinked hubba boardslide to close out. If you skipped this part as a child, give it another go this time around.

Spanky

In a jump cut rivaling 2001: A Space Odyssey, a fisheye view of Chris Senn wearing a Destructo shirt, holding his headphones up to the microphone of Jon Miner's VX1000 is replaced with a similarly composed shot of Kevin Long's face. Though it is uncertain whether or not these were the intentions of Jon Miner as an experimental filmmaker, the resemblance is frightening. Lets take a look:

Photo Collage 2001
Photo Collage 2001
Photo Collage
Photo Collage

NUTS.

Moving along, an actual skateboard part begins to play, and it's Spanky's. Listening to the 'mixed up' version of The Cure's Close to Me that his skating is set to, you wouldn't assume this was the second to last part in a video closed out by Andrew Reynolds. But it is, and it's incredible. Among the incredible things happening in this part are a 180 off of a cliff, a chest-high nosepick, and most importantly the video's only varialflip.

Much like Herman, lots of good product can be seen attached to Kevin's feet throughout this part. Flashes from his past life as a rider for the original Axion footwear team are present at certain points. My personal favorite is a pair of all white Bevels, seen bright as fuck during his night line at the LA convention center (?) benches. Then just like that, after boardsliding upwards of 600 feet through two kinks, the part is over. The boy done good - next up on the bucket list: going pro, un-going pro, then going pro again.

Reynolds

hip hop
hip hop

It's only fitting that the most hip-hop moment in This is Skateboarding serves as the transition into Andrew Reynolds' part. After a confusing five seconds staring at a human pedaling in reverse on a tricycle that is magically blasting music from the genre in question, we are shown the part's first piece of footage. Reyn-Reyn starts us off with what must have been a bet between he and someone else.

reynolds
reynolds

"I bet you couldn't do a 7-trick line that begins with a hubba trick, includes at least 3 flat ground tricks, one manual trick, one ledge trick, and ends with a kickflip over a minimum of 14 stairs", said (probably) Josh Beagle.

"OK, I'll do that", said (definitely) Andrew Reynolds. And he did just that. Despite the rookie mistake in exposure setting for the clip's ending, crown jewel 15 stair kickflip, the double angle proves that that shit had to be real. If this was the man's first clip in the video, what on Earth are we about to witness?

via Chrome Ball Incident
via Chrome Ball Incident

He answers this question with a leather-jacketed frontside flip over Love Gap, and so the slaughter begins. It really is ruthless, but so beautiful at the same time. This is what a last part in a video looks like. The part's first minute treats us to a few rare 360 flips from The Boss. One over a five stair, one into a noseslide, and one backwards. We see rolling long-lense for a tall nosemanual, bird's eye view for a fakie frontside flip, and through the fence into the sunset for a handrail nollie halfab crook. And who could forget the shifty flips? The part really is too good, too perfect, too sincere to put into words beyond what I've said here, so I'm just going to leave it at this. To those who understand, thank you. To those who don't, watch that shit right now. This is Skateboarding dood.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQTXrft9vKA&w=420&h=315]

Credits/Outro

Just wanted to call out one moment from the outro that I consider, to this day, to be documentation of the coolest anyone has ever looked while riding a skateboard. I'm speaking of course of the MACBA shifty flip, thrown smack dab in the middle of the section.

During a lull in noise from the appropriately scored Mogwai song, we are given a voyeuristic shot of the session. Just the Emerica team in their heyday, filming some clips over the most hucker-friendly structure in all of ledge-infested Barcelona.

The camera shows us everyone. Drew, Spanky, Tempster, Ellington, and Deanna sitting down for probably the first time all day. Very peaceful. Then the camera jolts back the where Drew was sitting, and he's gone - nowhere to be found. But in a split second, again, the camera pans up. There he is, all the way in back, a mile of run up in front of him. Without any hesitation whatsoever, Reynolds drops his board and takes aim at the virtually graffiti-less four block.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HW0PajdT3o&w=420&h=315]

What follows is an effortless shifty flip, presumably a warm up for the nollie cab we saw less than 5 minutes prior. He rolls away, reviews the play with Spanky, looks at the camera and shrugs his shoulders with no disposition one way or another about what he had just done. That, my friends, was undoubtedly hip-hop.

Thank You

 

VHS Review Volume VIII: Tony Hawk's Trick Tips Volume II

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Alright, here we go. Welcome to the Tony Hawk Trick Tips Volume 2 VHS review. You may be thinking to yourself, “How are they going to review a trick tips video? It’s not even a real skate video.” Whoa whoa whoa. Not a real skate video? Let me tell you something. This thing was just as much a skate video as Menikmati (not really) or even Sorry (definitely not). Look -  It’s common knowledge that when there’s not much out there, you make due with what you have. What I had just happened to be a video of Tony Hawk, quite possibly the world’s worst flatground skater, teaching you how to skate flatground. Regardless, this was a video that had skateboarding in it and also included Eric Koston, which made up for some of Tony's lack of technique on flat. I watched this video 1,000 times and it always made me wanna go skate...I may have actually learned a trick or two from it (definitely didn't.)

(This video's really long and given that it's not a huge help we're just gonna highlight the funnier segments.)

Alright enough talking about the video, let’s jump right in.

First thing to note, sponsored by Tyco. Yes. Tyco, because equating skateboarding to children's toys makes moms who bought this video feel better about letting their idiot kid skateboard.

Tyco_RC_logo

Second thing to note - the warning page on the VHS is illegible. You would need some sort of enigma machine to figure out anything it says. We speculate it says something along the lines of

"Warning - learning from Tony Hawk may result in the following: Poor flatground skills, terrible style, full pads at all times, atrocious outfits, inability to hardflip and other symptoms. If you detect any of these please seek out your skateboard and promptly focus it."

So the lineup here is the Hawk himself, Eric Koston, and Colin McKay. So we have two of the most technical skateboarders on the planet. And Tony Hawk. Ya know, they say that the way to build a great team is to know your weaknesses, and find talent that represents those weaknesses. Though perhaps true, in this case it's a great way for Tony Hawk to humiliate himself for our viewing pleasure.

The video opens up with a little skatepark segment. Looks like a bunch of clips from the Gigantic Skatepark Tour. Koston is skating with a headband. I think people forget how much Koston was hated on around this time for his gear. Skateboarders (especially older dudes) were not particularly down with basketball gear. I, on the other hand, was an impressionable idiot, and immediately got myself a Celtics headband (which I stopped wearing as soon as I got to the skatepark and was dissed by all my friends.)

One last thing to note as we get into the tricks themselves is that this video may be in the top 3 sources for documentation of the Koston 3. That is, besides Yeah Right! and Steve Olson's part in Guilty. The Lakers ones in the beginning are tight but just wait for the black and red. *lustful sigh*

Backside Feeble Grind

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So like any video we will go right in order, which will prove to be important. Tony decided to start off with the feeble. Not a bad choice, but it's nearly impossible to pay attention to the trick at hand because Tony is in the exact same gear as though he were skating a 12 foot vert ramp. Dude's skating a tiny flatbar in full pads. As a kid, you're probably scared shitless of this trick because you've got a dude that did a 900 on a full sized vert ramp, padding up to do a feeble grind he kinda can't even do.

Frontside Smith Grind

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Let's talk about grip tape. Koston - little chomp guy on the grip, so sick. Tony, extremely slim line cutout just so that you can see the Birdhouse logo. Not sick. smh.

It's sad watching Koston have to try to invent ways to miss a trick. It's so obviously clear that never in his life has he made a mistake on any of these tricks, so he just has to do an impersonation of what other people look like when they fuck up. Tony on the other hand...just wow.

Backside Lipslide

So after a brief and relatively uninspiring front board lesson, Tony now wants to teach you backside lipslides. Sure, why not Tony? This trick's only 1,000 times as hard and 1,000,000 times as dangerous. Tony pusses out of this trick and let's Eric teach it (to the surprise of no one).

WAIT A SECOND - TONY DOES ONE.

Back lip 16 times

Oh yeah, now might be a good time to mention that there have been these weird cutout figures of Tony and Eric that pop in every now and then and tell you some useless bullshit. We do, however, get this piece of info that it took Tony 16 tries to do one single back lip.

Backside Flip

jzqpj

Alright we’re onto flatground. Koston does about 75 perfect backside flips. Tony does a really good backside 90 flip. Tony’s voice cracks, and Tony continues to defer questions regarding technique and know how to his friend who he paid to do this video with him.

The Frontside Flip

-lElVL

Koston has really fucking good frontside flips. Not even kidding, Koston is teaching Tony how to do these tricks. For any skater at any level, this segment is honestly rad. Koston is literally putting on a flatground demo...with a helmet on. The shoes, the style, it's all classic 2000's Koston. If Menikmati was your video, this is your trick tip. Really sick.

Oh yeah, Tony does one frontside flip.

The Varial Flip

jzr5g

Okay here we go, this trick you might actually get a chance to learn something. Not how to do a varial flip, just that Koston is so good at varial flips and you'll probably never even get close to that dude's technique. Looking at the image above makes you wonder how they even got uncool...well and then Tony does one. So then I guess that explains that. Tony's definitely wearing knee pads under those dumpy carpenter jeans, don't think we can't see that.

360 Flip

jzrfj

This is my personal favorite section, because Koston has one of the best 360 flips in the game.

Okay, how can I explain watching Tony do a 360 flip. It’s basically like when you catch yourself saying something that your Dad said to you growing up. Like, oh no. Fuck, that is MY 360 flip. Damnit.

“360 flips are called ‘tre flips’ by cool guys”

People talk about ‘scoop’. Can you extrapolate on scoop, please?

"Yeah, you really just gotta focus on the scoop, 360 flips are all about your back foot scooping the board, the kickflip is minimal, it's about scoop..."

Ok, nevermind.

Backside Heelflip

image

WOW - Tony takes the letter on this one. Straight up admits that he can’t do it. This is more embarrassing than the ‘no mas’ moment.

Per the little weird cartoon guy Tony “wouldn’t try this trick during the shoot”. Guy does the 900, won’t try a backside heelflip.

“Talk Time”

Tony and Eric sitting in the grass talking about how they got sponsored. Not gonna lie, when I was a kid I actually enjoyed this shit. The thing about this video is that when you were a kid watching it you’d watch it like any other video, straight through. If you look hard enough you can actually see Eric Koston's regret from having to spend 8 hours straight on this shoot skating flat with a helmet on.

 Frontside Heelflip

P3JEVm

Even Koston will tell you this one's hard. The insane thing here is that Tony refused to try backside heel, but goes HARD at frontside heels, and actually nails one...not before landing primo and getting smoked but regardless...credit where credit's due. Unbelievable.

Tony claims that he has ‘vertitus’ which he explains as an ailment that keeps him from leaving the ground. Ok.

Hardflip

Funny how both "teachers" are extremely bummed that this segment has arrived.

MahO28

It should be noted that in their brief explanation of what a hardflip is and the different techniques for doing them, they randomly call out Kris Markovich for doing illusion flips. lolz.

As we know Koston is infamous for his inability to do hardflips, so he obviously has to do them switch.

Tony should be thankful the ground exists or else he wouldn't have had anything to bounce his board off to land it. This segment is my excuse for never being able to do hardflips.

tony hardflip gif

Vert Section

dBHSXH

This is where we end the VHS Review. Yes, there's a vert section with Colin McKay and a young Riley Hawk, but in the spirit of encapsulating our youth in this review, this is undoubtedly where I would have turned the VHS off and went outside to skate. Vert? You think I give a shit about vert?? I'm 8 years old, I'M A STREET SKATER. My older self having deeply regretted skipping these lessons, is now happy to watch this segment for any potential tips, however the lessons are little less funny to write about (though still very awkward to watch). Colin McKay skating a Girl board...something so beautiful was never meant to last :(

And what did we learn today? Not much. What's important is that this was a relevant video to me and my friends at one point. Not because it "taught" us shit, but because it was people skateboarding and that's all we wanted to see. At that age, with no internet and no money, you're just a sponge: all you want to do is soak up any skateboard related content, who or what it was never mattered. So yes, we can all have a laugh at Tony's questionable flatground lessons, but this video was on repeat at my friends house after school, regardless of what it may or may not have taught us.

VHS Review Volume VII: Harsh Euro Barge

mike-and-rick-harsh.jpg

Introduction

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Ah, damnit. I always get so fucking sentimental when I’m doing these. Alright whatever, here we go.

Let me just start this off by saying that in all seriousness I used to watch this video every night before I went to bed. Something about the mix between Ty’s insane obsession with techno and Smyth’s sensual voice just lulled this little guy right off to sleep. So let’s take a journey into my quasi-pubescent dreams, and discover the greatest tour video ever made.

Like anything else, we start at the beginning. When you’re watching a Girl video, you know it’s the beginning when you hear that SHT SOUND come in. That beautiful buzz, which is followed by quite possibly the greatest quote in skate video history.

“I don’t want to stress out driving across country getting kicked out of spots not getting one trick. I wanna be able to skate a spot, not get a trick, and still have fun.”

- Mike Carroll, in the saddest, I-haven’t-been-laid-in-months, mumble

Side-note: This quote was actually what I used in my AIM profile (literally just this, not even a shout out to friends, song quote, nothing) for all of 2003. Needless to say I was also not getting laid.

Moving right along.

This video, unlike other Girl videos, just gets right into it. No long intro, no skits, just straight to the goods. You have to realize that this is Ty taking over the helm from Spike as director for Girl videos. So where Spike was watching Naughty America videos with intricate, well thought out story lines, Ty was over there getting it to some weird ass, tied up, leather strap, handjob while punching your balls shit. Honestly there wasn’t anywhere better for him at this time than Europe. But Ty is a master of his craft, and still manages to make us fall for this beloved cast, even Jereme Rogers.

I have to stop here and say that this wasn’t his first rodeo. Ty gained some Euro tour experience the year before, making Beware of the Flare. You may even recognize some of the same guys. But I will go out on a limb and say that if Beware of the Flare was The Godfather, Harsh Euro Barge was The Godfather II. Ty had an emotion that he wanted to reflect, and where BOTF captivated us and made us laugh, in Harsh Barge Ty comes into his own, and just made us feel something. At this point you might be thinking “jeez, it’s just a fucking skate video”, or “wow, this guy is really rambling”, to which I would respond, yes, you are correct on both accounts. I am very hung over, but bear with me, I promise you I have something to say.

Chapter One: “You’ll be switch flipping in no time”

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It all begins with Brian Anderson dropping in on what appears to be the most fun concrete skatepark of all time. This was filmed in 2002, and skateparks like this did not exist in reality, only in your dreams/footage from Antihero, Bob Burnquist or Chris Senn. Nevertheless, Carroll is roasting varial flips over some orange barrier tabletop setup, which by the way is the most early 2000’s skatepark setup in history, while Jeron is doing classic switch tres, Jereme is rattling off every flip trick imaginable on the pyramid, and the Ricks and Robbie are attacking the hubba. This is the Girl team.

Next stop - the exact same indoor park you see in every tour video ever. Yes, the one with the across and down rail, the big enough to look gnarly, but small enough for someone to nollie tre tabletop. The one with quarterpipes lining one wall, only used to get speed for the box. It may have been in Around The World, or was it Berzerker, or Riding Shotgun with Weiger? But that was a US tour…

Notable tricks, BA’s front blunt fakie, and McCrank doing gap grabs over the top to the down rail. Oh yeah and Sam talking about the streaker of course. Damnit I love the little cutouts of the guys faces popping in and out.

Chapter Two: The Barge hits the streets

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Growing up in the suburbs made this section especially tough for me. If I were watching a Zero video, I could at least pretend that the loading dock I was skating was actually a giant grass gap, or somehow quantify what they were doing. But this, this was different. These spots were incredible, and altogether inaccessible. They looked untapped, and had the familiar cold ledge look of the northeast. These spots, however, actually looked like fun. I fucking hate you Jereme Rogers.

In this part one of the most beautiful things happens. Well, two. Actually three! Firstly, Brandon Biebel does the most insane nollie backside flip over a (what appears to be) neck high chain. Then the magic happens. Carroll does a back tail on a ledge, and birds fly by in the foreground. Coincidence? Perhaps. I’d like to think that these birds knew what they were being a part of, and gave Ty a little gift. Lastly Biebel comes at it again, and takes out Rick with the longest most insane kickflip nose manual. And you know he’s hyped!

Jereme loses his plane ticket like an idiot then does a bunch of tricks down an 8 stair. Jeron catches a hot pocket on a heelflip which they don’t show because they save it for Yeah Right.

Chapter Three: “Where is Koston!?”

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Ok, this is an integral part of the video. It’s a turning point. It’s where you are VERY nervous. McCrank is out after bailing on a 70 stair rail and bruising his heel (no clue how he didn’t just evaporate upon impact, proof that he is not human). Jeron is also out from aforementioned injury, and then Koston gets #thefear and leaves. I can’t tell you how incredibly frustrating this was as a child watching this video. You’re left in suspense. What is going to happen? Is the video just going to end? How can they make this work? Is Howard going to step it up and become the demo god he was born to be? Is Carroll going to try to get gnarly? What does this mean for Ty’s career? What does this mean for me?

This is where Ty shines. You see, Ty knows that this is what you’re thinking, and he uses this to bring you deeper into this truly emotional experience. He plays the clip of Carroll taking the worst slam of his life, puts on Cat Power - Cross Bones Style (very intense) and then tells you that Rick Howard is out as well. Wow.

You ever seen the movie Bloodsport with Jean-Claude Van Damme? Well, a quick synopsis. Jean’s the main character, and he’s in a martial arts tournament. His friend gets killed after a cheap shot, and to win the tournament he has to avenge the death of his friend by beating the guy who killed him. During the final fight the bad guy throws some powder in Jean’s eyes, blinding him. THIS IS TY AT THIS MOMENT. Ty is BLINDED, his key players are out. But he knows that he has to adapt, and make it work.

Chapter Four: “Look at the clouds, fool!”

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Brandon Biebel. If I had to pick anybody to single handedly save this video, it would have be Brandon Biebel. He's ripping, always psyched, eternally quotable, and has never been seen not high. Brandon, if you’re reading this somehow, I just want to personally thank you on behalf of Ty, and the rest of everybody who has ever seen/loved this video.

Biebel might not have any clue where they are, or what they’re doing, but he knows what a sweet sunset looks like, and that’s what is important. He also knows how to do the most gangster nollie back heels done (in corn rows, +5 points).

Ty puts on The Strokes for this one. See, this is how you can tell that he is a true genius. He knows how to ease the tension. In 2003 The Strokes were a radio band, so this was a particularly bold choice. Ty does not care about this. It does not matter to Ty whether a band is known or unknown. He is not interested in snobbery, he is not interested in exclusion, he is interested in the product. It is about the big picture.

Chapter Five: The Pit

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Now that the video has turned around Ty gives the mic to Sam Smyth to finish off with narration and take us down the home stretch. This is where Carroll skates the rail in the rain at the Mighty Mighty Bosstones concert. You all know the quotes, so I’ll spare you. This is a monumental point in the video and a significant moment in skate history. Carroll shows you that he does care, and when he wants he can turn it on. It’s like when you’re playing your dad in basketball as a little kid, and all of a sudden he decides that he doesn’t want to let you win anymore, and slam dunks in your face.

This leads us to the last demo in Austria, and some final street clips, where to be honest there isn’t really anything significant that happens, but you do get the Rick line as the ender for the video with a textbook front nose. Couldn’t ask for more than that. So wait, you say, there was this whole thing about Ty turning the video around, but now the video’s over? I don’t get it, where’s the magic?

Chapter Six: Another Point of View

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The credits/after credits. This is what differentiates Girl videos from the rest. In other videos the climax happens with the ender, with a bang, with somebody’s sick part. In Girl videos it’s like you watch the last part, then Ty gives you some molly and you’re left in a state of euphoria thinking about how much you love all your friends and just want to dance.

Think about this, the video itself is 16 minutes long, but the total runtime is 27 minutes. Are you a mathematician? Well if not, let me tell you, that’s a long fucking credits section. At no point, however, does it get boring. Jereme’s nollie heel noseslide down the escalator, talking shit on Robbie for playing golf instead of skating, random makes and misses, hugs and kisses. And the songs. DB Boulevard and μ ziq. It’s just so damn feel-good. If they released just the credits section without the video I would buy it. So many quotes. “Charles De Gaulle, France go!”, “This is the dopest lesson I ever learned”, “Big guy on a little board” I could go on. Aw man, am I crying? Maybe? Yes. Yes, I am. Last thing I want to say is that the world would’ve been a different place if McCrank had landed the front tail kickflip.

“How should we end the video? Just Biebel, it’s gotta be Biebel. Handstand pushups fade to black before he hits the ground”

THE END

Post Script: Random BA footage talking about his Manowar tape.

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Thank you Ty, thank you Sam, thank you Biebel, thank you Girl.

VHS Review #4: Deca's Sneak Preview

deca_sneak_preview
deca_sneak_preview

It's been quite some time since we've done a VHS Review and given the recent mention of Deca last week, I thought it might be a good idea to thoroughly examine the picnic table madness of Deca. I will not, however,  be reviewing Deca's full length 2nd to None, rather their promo Sneak Preview. You may be asking why I chose the promo over the full length...the simple answer? I like it more. When I first moved to Maine I lived in a small cabin on a man made lake with only dirt roads in my neighborhood. I actually skated flat on the docks down on the lake (#legend). I had also somehow acquired Sneak Preview and given how bleak my skating situation was I stayed indoors and watched this video upwards of 1,000 times. This video is as bad as it is good. And it's really fucking good.

AqqmOo
AqqmOo

Intro - The year was 2001 and everybody was sitting around asking "What is Deca?" Well let me try to answer that for you, Daewon. I'm two seconds into this video and Alice fucking Doojey's "Better Off Alone" is playing. Shiloh Greathouse also has a frosted blonde afro and looks desperately in need of something other than a cheeseburger. Enrique Lorenzo and JB don't seem to have aged in the slightest and were as underrated then as they are now. Marcus came back like a boomerang or something, and the Am team is made up of people who ceased to exist shortly after Deca went under. I'm not sure but is this intro Daewon's overly unsubtle way of telling Rocco he really is fine without him? The song, the cute bro moments, the "whole new beginning"? Who cares, Daewon found a new spot and it's your stupid kids. Nollie backside 360 heelflip over a helpless child. Where's your fucking mom at Timmy? Stop hanging out in parking lots with the Deca team. Fakie 360 flip over four little kids. Where are the fucking parents? Daewon's a legend but I'm not sure if I'd let my kid get fakie tre'd after meeting the dude an hour ago. Nah fuck it, I totally would. Alright I can't take this song and all these bromantic antics, lets move onto the video.

agX3zo
agX3zo

Shiloh Greathouse - I'l be upfront with you about this part: its not very good. I think its safe to say Shiloh had been confused for a little while at this time in his life. Beyond questionable decisions with his hair, Mr. Greathouse seems to have filmed most of his part on the same three obstacles placed in different locations: two benches and a metal topped desk that seem to make their way around the city numerous times (desk across the stream was a total force btw). I mean who knows, maybe that little river was somebody's office but something tells me it just isn't true. I should mention that Shiloh got a really good song, probably the best song in the video. Any other Shiloh part and I would be talking my ass off about it, using words like "style", "proper", and "creative". I'll let you know he kickflip back noseblunts the river desk which somehow found it's way to a downward dirt gap. Shiloh gets a blonde tipped thumb sideways for this part. Sorry Shiloh.

shinokadaintro
shinokadaintro

Shin Okada - Can anyone confirm that baseball jersey in the GIF above is a Speed Demons shirt? 'Cause that thing is really sick. Never really understood what was going on in his intro. As I had mentioned earlier, the Am team at Deca dissolved into thin air shortly after Deca went under. I know nothing of their skating before and after Deca but  each of them fit a certain niche. Shin is tech guy. Ignoring the ridiculous song choice (from here on out every song will be absolutely the worst choice they could have made...no budget? Bad taste?) Shin's got good style and seems to prefer his tech via nollie frontside heelflip tricks and there are roughly nine or ten variations of that trick in his part. Shin's ender is a nollie frontside heel switch back 5-0 across the entirety of a tiny box at what appears to be a Deca demo. The reason I know this is a Deca demo is because it looks like no one's there. They do bigger numbers stealing your children in parking lots. Shin, you get two pant legs rolled up for this part. (hmu for an interview if you're still alive?)

A23Kv5
A23Kv5

Luis Cruz - Luis Cruz's part is really short but it's extremely important that we discuss it. I will do this in the form of a list.

1.) Following the overwhelming theme in this video the song is fucking terrible ("www I'm the shit .com").

2.) Luis Cruz Muska flips everything. He could potentially "out-Muska" the Muska. More on that later.

Zrr3kQ
Zrr3kQ

3.) There is a line in his part where he does frontside flip on the sidewalk, and then proceeds to fakie frontside flip a hydrant. I think it's pretty clear to me and everyone else that watched this video that he went to the absolute side of that fire hydrant. Sad but true. 

4.) Right before unnamed annoying rapper poetically says "Let 'em toss ya salad" Luis Cruz takes his fakie frontside flip over a ledge with a skateboard on top of it. Why didn't you just go find a bigger ledge? Or quit?

I give this part a hardly-flipped-very-folded-nollie hardflip.

Enrique Lorenzo/Marco Romero - Ok so I lied, this song's actually really good. Red and Meth, I'm not gonna say anything bad about that. Enrique's pretty much had the same insane style forever, but you wouldn't know that because Enrique is never in any type of conversation like that. No top ten lists, no Thrasher classics, nothing. Let me show you a classic example of Enrique style.

ZPz3bE
ZPz3bE

Now that you understand Enrique let me continue on to Marco Romero. You may remember him when he made an appearance in Enrique's part in Round 2. Actually, you probably just don't remember him. He skates like Enrique but a little bit worse. Enrique's footage is better. Enrique you get a thumb and a half for your footage, Marco if you're still alive you can come and pick up the rest of the thumb I gave Enrique.

Brian Hoard - Brian Hoard has probably the shortest part in the video but its one of the best besides Daewon. Two things to take away from this part:

1.) He does a nollie hardflip across a gap at a skatepark with a helmet on (safety first).

brian hoard
brian hoard

2.) Nollie inward heel straight over a picnic table long before Bryan Herman had pubic hair.

It's roughly 15 seconds of pop madness. The sad truth is that tall skateboarders rarely make a long lasting career in skateboarding...unless you're Ron Whaley. But even then...Two thumbs way up and over a picnic table or two for this collection of tricks (it's hardly a part).

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marcus

Marcus McBride - Marcus Mcbride's part is a classic representation of his skating with some of the most questionable editing of 21st century skateboarding. First of, Sean Paul and DMX on the track (Here Comes The Boom in case you're looking to dl). Not sure what reggaetone DJ decided to edit Marcus' part but I feel like I'd rather put bleach in my eyes than listen to this song. Lets make one thing clear: Marcus is the undisputed king of skating straight over the Pier 7 pads. Nollie heel straight over, inward heel straight over, as well as a switch heel straight over in a line. DMX just said he'd rip my butthole straight out of place. Remember the heelflip over the Third and Army gap? Third clip in his part? Well in case you missed it you get to watch it in slo-mow again. Marcus' hammer section is actually just 4 or 5 clips you've already seen in the beginning of his part.

"Yo Marcus you got an ender for you part or what?"

"Yeah actually I do, it's the heelflip I did at the beginning of my part."

"Fuck, that's genius!"

The "desperate to fill out the part with slow-mo" would be later perfected by one James Greco and the rest of his cohorts at Baker. C'mon guys. One Thumb up in regular speed, followed some time later by another thumb in slow-mo for this part.

8ROn5t
8ROn5t

JB Gillet - If you could compile a list of underrated skateboarders JB should be somewhere in the top three of that list. Is it his "Euroness" that blocks him from all #listicles in the greater skatemediasphere? There's seems to be an almost xenophobic approach to building a skate listicle...but I digress. This part is good. It doesn't seem like I've said that very much in this review but regardless JB is in classic form here. He is arguably one of the most consistent skateboarders throughout the entirety of his career with both style and trick selection. It would seem the only major changes from JB then and now are his clothes and frankly I'm backing JB's Deca fashion (the only one I'll say that about mind you). Kickflip noseblunt to fakie...better than you could have imagined. Two French thumbs way up for this part JB.

deawon3
deawon3

Daewon Song - Finally, Daewon. I suppose this VHS Review was a long winded way of writing about this part. This part is absolute madness.First take note of his gear: Frosted blonde jerry curl, single chain, and Matix basketball jerseys. (Matix basketball jerseys, dude.) Secondly, the song: If the Lord of the Rings choir and Moby somehow fucked each other in the studio, they gave birth to this song (not sure who's the mommy in that metaphor). That being said if one skateboarder was responsible for holding the Ring of Power I'm guessing it would be Daewon, though technically that would make him a force of evil and his downfall would ultimately come at the hands of a woman...never mind.

deawon
deawon

Third thing: the amount of time it must have taken Daewon to scout the spots he skates in this part is mind-blowing. From scoping roof top gaps that would safely fit a bench that would drop to a manual pad, to measuring and understanding how many stairs is the equivalent of three full sized picnic tables, he probably did more scouting than he did skating. I haven't even told you that Daewon 360 flip noseblunted a gap to picnic table on a roof (how do you get a picnic table on a roof?) Or that he just did switch crook to fakie manual 360 flip out. Or that Daewon is the only pro who should be allowed to film on a curb manual pad (sorry Sinner). Frontside noseblunt to switch backside noseblunt across two benches with a gap in the middle...13 years ago. Roll credits.

So what have we learned here today? This might have been the worst video we've ever reviewed here, but does that mean it's bad? Will you read this and tell your best friend Chad who loved this video that he was an idiot and you hate his hemp necklace and you're not sure you can hang out with him anymore? Is Chad your boyfriend? The truth is before you brats got spoiled with the internet, videos just came out randomly. You had to go down to a building that had these videos and you had to use money to buy them. You didn't know when you were going to get another and so you watched whatever you had because any skateboarding was good skateboarding back then. So if you made it this far down the page then you realize that I love this video despite all of it's beautiful flaws. NEVER FORGET DECA.